What's in a man?

William Shakespeare, one of the most well-known poets and dramatists, is particularly famous for his play Romeo and Juliet. Over time, as the plot became popularized, Romeo has come to resemble the epitome of the male lover. However, a closer examination of the play, portrays a much more effeminate and “womanish” Romeo. Within the context of Elizabethan times, Romeo was most definitely not “manly,” and hardly the benchmark for masculine love.

In Act III, scene three, Romeo, after murdering Tybalt, seeks refuge within the Friar Laurence’s cell. Soon thereafter, he gets news that he is banished from the city of Verona. Immediately, Romeo is sent into the throes of despair and prostrates himself upon the floor, for he realizes that he must be parted from his dear love, Juliet. Romeo moves to stab himself with a dagger, provoking the friar into scolding some sense into the young man:

FRIAR: Hold thy desperate hand.

Art thou a man? Thy form cries out thou art;

Thy tears are womanish, thy wild acts denote

The unreasonable fury of a beast.

Unseemly woman in a seeming man!

And ill-beseeming beast in seeming both!

Thou hast amazed me. By my holy order,

I thought thy disposition better tempered…

Thy noble shape is but a form of wax,

Digressing from the valor of a man;

Thy dear love sworn but hollow perjury. (III. iii. 109-128).

The friar accuses Romeo of being a woman for his outburst of emotion. According to Friar Laurence, Romeo is a man because his “form cries out” that he looks male, so thus he must be male. Then, if Romeo is a man, then he should not be crying and showing so much feeling. To be a man means to not be “womanly” in emotions, to not shed tears and fall onto the ground. Yet, Romeo is a man because of how he looks, but is on the floor in tears. So, then, Romeo is not a man, or is not at the moment acting like one. Romeo’s reaction to the news that he will be thenceforth “banished” is not something a real man would do; therefore Romeo’s behavior is “unseemly” and inappropriate. Romeo is disobeying the medieval constructs of male identity, which consists of a strong and unemotional character. To be unemotional is to be a man in that the lack of emotion denotes one’s lack of “womanish” character, and since women are the “weaker vessels,” men must be strong (I.i. 14-15). Romeo’s behavior is so out of character of what a man is that the friar is aghast and swears on his holy authority as a clergyman (ordained by god), that Romeo is a man and should not act this way. For, if Romeo continues to act womanly, he is digressing from what it is to be a man: strong, brave, fearless, and heroic (III.iii. 127). Romeo’s effeminate behavior deviates from what is deemed “right,” that Romeo should be a man and follow the rules of what it is to be a man. Yet, if Romeo so deeply loves Juliet as he claims, then why is his outburst and emotional prostration inappropriate? Should not love move people to their knees? Apparently only women are permitted that liberty, the freedom to be hysterical in the name of l’amour. And Romeo cannot be a woman, for then his love for Juliet is dishonest, wrong, and untrue. ‘Tis a great sin for a woman to be with a woman. The Friar Laurence would have some serious bones to pick in modern American society.